The doctor tells me that I can expect to see my hair either thin out significantly or go altogether. In anticipation of this unhappy prospect I decided to chop my hair off last night. I thought this incremental step would help me ease into the idea of baldness and also make the actual process of losing my hair more manageable. Here is the result and I absolutely love it.
Funny how nervous I was to take this step. I was so worried about losing the long hair I have always had that I actually thought about just asking the stylist to cut it to my shoulders. Now I actually like my new haircut so much (more than I liked my long hair) that I am thinking I will keep it short once it grows back in after chemo.
This experience got me thinking about change. As humans we resist change. I saw this in managing people and in consumer/voter behavior in my previous life. People will continue to vote for the person they know even if that person hasn't delivered on their promises. Employees balk every time HR decides to change a policy or a process, even when they complained constantly about the old way of doing something. It's normal and natural ... and limiting.
The reality is that change is so good for us. Change often leads to something even better than what we expected. It expands our perspective. It gets us to think and do things in new ways that can breath new life into projects, relationships and work. I think that applies to small things like haircuts and to big things like life circumstances. We are built to be creatures of habit, and that isn't a bad thing, but neither is shaking things up.
Even as I write this I am laughing at myself because I am stating what is so easy to recognize, but so hard to put into practice. I find myself resisting change in a million different ways. But I so wish that I could be more conscious of it when I am doing that and instead do what I did last night and just take a step toward something different. This is especially true when I am complaining about a circumstance or experience.
So a new goal (not a resolution, I am no good at fulfilling those) is to walk boldly toward the new. To embrace the idea that change is healthy and necessary for forward progress. To be alright with being uncomfortable in the unfamiliar. What's the worst that could happen? I try something, it doesn't work, and I go back to the old way; but if it's anything like my hair, that probably won't happen too often.